Friday, October 15, 2010
Apun my word. . . .
Some puns from my friend Emil Dansker in Cincinnati:
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Practice safe eating—always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding—a case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away).
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A lot of money is tainted—taint yours and taint mine.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.